Today at the midwife, we heard the baby's heartbeat.
Thumpthump...thumpthump...thumpthump...
Wow.
I cried.
Hubby couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear.
His new nickname for the lil' peanut is "Thumper"
This is really going to happen this time!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Checking in
Hello All,
So sorry for not writing for a couple of weeks. I have been popping in to read every so often, but have not had time to write a post of my own. Here is a quick one for an update...
I began school 2 weeks ago, a program for Registered Massage Therapist designation. In Ontario, Canada we have one of the most intensive and extensive programs in the world. The schooling requirements are 2200 hours - which translates into 2 years. About half of that is clinical and half sciences (anatomy, physiology, pathology). I can't believe how much I have learned in just 2 weeks - its astounding the pace of the program and the amount of information....and apparently it gets even more intense. I have 1 more week left in this, the orientation 'module' of the program. I have an exam on all of the info we learned in the 3 weeks of the module and then the next week we begin our first formal 17 week module.
So far I have been doing very well. Top of my class, in fact. Out of 4 tests we've had, I've only lost 1.5 marks, which works out to a 96% average. That is an honours designation and I would be thrilled to keep up that level of achievement throughout the program.
This is why, of course, I have not been writing. I have, instead, been studying!
Little Peanut is just a couple of days away from 12 weeks! He/She has been taking it a wee bit easier on me in the last week or so. I still get nauseous. I still do vomit here & there. I still have aversions and have to force myself to eat.....but its just slightly less than it was. Thank goodness with moderate and consistent food intake I am able to control it fairly well during school. I've only had to run off to the washroom once!
I have my next midwife appointment next week and I am going to ask for an ultrasound scan. I spoke with my naturopath about it and she agrees. I just feel like I'm hanging out here waiting for confirmation that everything is OK. I've lost 10lbs as opposed to gained. I can't tell if the bump on my belly is baby or just fat. I've had no blood tests, no scans....I just feel like its not real anymore (although I certainly am still experiencing symptoms....MS, Sore Breasts, discharge, twinges, etc). I've also been having scary dreams the last couple of weeks. I've dreamed that I started spotting, and then started freaking out and screaming and yelling at hubby and hitting him, screaming at him that he doesn't understand what is happening and he has to get me somewhere to make it stop. I wake up and everything is fine, but still, its upsetting and off putting. My naturopath agrees that it would probably just give me some peace of mind to have an ultrasound and confirm that all is going as it should be at this stage. So, I'm looking forward to that.
I think we are going to tell hubby's parents this weekend. His Aunt is in from the East Coast and she is always fun and positive and lightens the mood with his parents, so we're thinking that telling them when she is here will be good. Oh, his father will be ecstatic, whether Auntie was here or not.....but his mom is a little strange sometimes. I'm hoping to get a moment alone with her first just to quickly tell her...."Please, for your son's sake, when he tells you what he is going to tell you....don't react. Wait a moment. Think about what the appropriate reaction would be first. Then react.". Honestly, if I don't, I fear the woman will literally say "You're PREGNANT?!?!?!? EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! OH NOOOOOO!!!! Well don't expect me to take care of the thing!!!"
My husband tolerates his parents....but if she reacts like that...then that might be the end of it all for their relationship.
That's really about all that is going on right now. I'll try to write again next week and fill you in on how things went with the in-laws and the scan! Even if I have not commented, I am reading and thinking of you all wherever you are in your journeys: with TTC, your pregnancies, raising your little ones, your weight loss, your work/school, your holidays, your families, etc.
xo
So sorry for not writing for a couple of weeks. I have been popping in to read every so often, but have not had time to write a post of my own. Here is a quick one for an update...
I began school 2 weeks ago, a program for Registered Massage Therapist designation. In Ontario, Canada we have one of the most intensive and extensive programs in the world. The schooling requirements are 2200 hours - which translates into 2 years. About half of that is clinical and half sciences (anatomy, physiology, pathology). I can't believe how much I have learned in just 2 weeks - its astounding the pace of the program and the amount of information....and apparently it gets even more intense. I have 1 more week left in this, the orientation 'module' of the program. I have an exam on all of the info we learned in the 3 weeks of the module and then the next week we begin our first formal 17 week module.
So far I have been doing very well. Top of my class, in fact. Out of 4 tests we've had, I've only lost 1.5 marks, which works out to a 96% average. That is an honours designation and I would be thrilled to keep up that level of achievement throughout the program.
This is why, of course, I have not been writing. I have, instead, been studying!
Little Peanut is just a couple of days away from 12 weeks! He/She has been taking it a wee bit easier on me in the last week or so. I still get nauseous. I still do vomit here & there. I still have aversions and have to force myself to eat.....but its just slightly less than it was. Thank goodness with moderate and consistent food intake I am able to control it fairly well during school. I've only had to run off to the washroom once!
I have my next midwife appointment next week and I am going to ask for an ultrasound scan. I spoke with my naturopath about it and she agrees. I just feel like I'm hanging out here waiting for confirmation that everything is OK. I've lost 10lbs as opposed to gained. I can't tell if the bump on my belly is baby or just fat. I've had no blood tests, no scans....I just feel like its not real anymore (although I certainly am still experiencing symptoms....MS, Sore Breasts, discharge, twinges, etc). I've also been having scary dreams the last couple of weeks. I've dreamed that I started spotting, and then started freaking out and screaming and yelling at hubby and hitting him, screaming at him that he doesn't understand what is happening and he has to get me somewhere to make it stop. I wake up and everything is fine, but still, its upsetting and off putting. My naturopath agrees that it would probably just give me some peace of mind to have an ultrasound and confirm that all is going as it should be at this stage. So, I'm looking forward to that.
I think we are going to tell hubby's parents this weekend. His Aunt is in from the East Coast and she is always fun and positive and lightens the mood with his parents, so we're thinking that telling them when she is here will be good. Oh, his father will be ecstatic, whether Auntie was here or not.....but his mom is a little strange sometimes. I'm hoping to get a moment alone with her first just to quickly tell her...."Please, for your son's sake, when he tells you what he is going to tell you....don't react. Wait a moment. Think about what the appropriate reaction would be first. Then react.". Honestly, if I don't, I fear the woman will literally say "You're PREGNANT?!?!?!? EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! OH NOOOOOO!!!! Well don't expect me to take care of the thing!!!"
My husband tolerates his parents....but if she reacts like that...then that might be the end of it all for their relationship.
That's really about all that is going on right now. I'll try to write again next week and fill you in on how things went with the in-laws and the scan! Even if I have not commented, I am reading and thinking of you all wherever you are in your journeys: with TTC, your pregnancies, raising your little ones, your weight loss, your work/school, your holidays, your families, etc.
xo
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Feeling Better.....Ish.
Apparently I 'm impossible to please.
The last few days I have been feeling a little better. Tuesday was actually really good. Yesterday & today are about the same. I've still had nausea, but not as intense and there are actually times in the day it doesn't really bother me too much. Also I'm able to eat a few more foods.
So, of course, I'm a bit worried.
According to Dr. Google (BAD ME!!!), MS should begin to subside right around week 12 when the Placenta - my baby's lifeline! - is fully formed. I'm 9.5 weeks. That's 2.5 weeks that the placenta has not had to develop! This does not make me happy.
I know - I'm bitching when I'm sick and now I'm bitching that I'm not as sick. This is just such a time of uncertainty and worry. I'm happy and start thinking about plans, and then I freak out and think "I shouldn't get too excited and I shouldn't make plans yet!". I'm sorry for being such a nutcase...but I really don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
Since I never got to the point with an RE where I was under real care or guidance from them (I was written off at first glance, essentially, and decided to go hippy-dippy natural for a while before pursuing further intervention - and I got very, very lucky), I'm not getting constant check ups and tests. I feel kind of like I'm floating out here. I don't even know when I will get my first scan. And that scan scares me too, because last time I got one at 12.5 weeks and that's when they told me the pregnancy was not viable and I would likely miscarry in a few days and that if I didn't I would have to get a D&C. I did miscarry a few days later. It was horrible.
Every time I feel a little (WARNING - this may be a bit graphic!) dampness I go rushing off to the bathroom terrified that I'm going to find pink. Thank goodness that hasn't been the case.
I know I have not eaten well and I'm not drinking enough water - I just can't. I can't stomach it or keep it down. So I worry I am not providing sufficient nutrition to my baby. My naturopath assures me that all the work I have done over the last year and a half eating super nutritiously and organic and building up my body's health reserves is more than enough for my little olive sized nugget right now. That if all I can eat are crackers and Popsicles then that's what I need to eat and that's OK. I'm getting my prenatal vitamin in daily so she says I'm good.
So, I'm just trying to be patient and calm as much as I can be right now. I'm walking a few nights a week, but mostly getting lots of sleep. When school starts next week sleep will likely diminish with studying time and work having to be fit in - so I'm trying to get lots of rest now. And as long as I'm sleeping, I'm not worrying, and I'm not throwing up - so that's all good as far as I am concerned!
The last few days I have been feeling a little better. Tuesday was actually really good. Yesterday & today are about the same. I've still had nausea, but not as intense and there are actually times in the day it doesn't really bother me too much. Also I'm able to eat a few more foods.
So, of course, I'm a bit worried.
According to Dr. Google (BAD ME!!!), MS should begin to subside right around week 12 when the Placenta - my baby's lifeline! - is fully formed. I'm 9.5 weeks. That's 2.5 weeks that the placenta has not had to develop! This does not make me happy.
I know - I'm bitching when I'm sick and now I'm bitching that I'm not as sick. This is just such a time of uncertainty and worry. I'm happy and start thinking about plans, and then I freak out and think "I shouldn't get too excited and I shouldn't make plans yet!". I'm sorry for being such a nutcase...but I really don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
Since I never got to the point with an RE where I was under real care or guidance from them (I was written off at first glance, essentially, and decided to go hippy-dippy natural for a while before pursuing further intervention - and I got very, very lucky), I'm not getting constant check ups and tests. I feel kind of like I'm floating out here. I don't even know when I will get my first scan. And that scan scares me too, because last time I got one at 12.5 weeks and that's when they told me the pregnancy was not viable and I would likely miscarry in a few days and that if I didn't I would have to get a D&C. I did miscarry a few days later. It was horrible.
Every time I feel a little (WARNING - this may be a bit graphic!) dampness I go rushing off to the bathroom terrified that I'm going to find pink. Thank goodness that hasn't been the case.
I know I have not eaten well and I'm not drinking enough water - I just can't. I can't stomach it or keep it down. So I worry I am not providing sufficient nutrition to my baby. My naturopath assures me that all the work I have done over the last year and a half eating super nutritiously and organic and building up my body's health reserves is more than enough for my little olive sized nugget right now. That if all I can eat are crackers and Popsicles then that's what I need to eat and that's OK. I'm getting my prenatal vitamin in daily so she says I'm good.
So, I'm just trying to be patient and calm as much as I can be right now. I'm walking a few nights a week, but mostly getting lots of sleep. When school starts next week sleep will likely diminish with studying time and work having to be fit in - so I'm trying to get lots of rest now. And as long as I'm sleeping, I'm not worrying, and I'm not throwing up - so that's all good as far as I am concerned!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Countdown to 12 weeks
I think I'm driving my poor husband crazy.
He is absolutely the most patient man I've ever known. He is a saint to put up with me. Seriously.
I have been insufferable in the last few weeks. I'd have tossed me out on my butt 2 weeks ago.
I have been whiny, wimpy, dreary, sucky, impatient, ornery, short tempered, barfy, teary & completely lazy.
And yet he smiles and holds me and strokes my hair and rubs my neck and tells me it'll be OK and he wishes he could take this sick feeling away from me.
And then I turn into a puddle and feel like a big jerk and tell him that I promise to make him all of his favorite suppers when I can stand smells in the house again, and that soon I will feel better & we will be able to be intimate again. Right now, I just can't....and I miss him.
I don't want to blog about how terrible I feel right now - so I haven't been blogging, because that's pretty much how I feel. Please don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade this for the world and if I have to deal with it for the whole pregnancy in order to have a healthy baby, then I will! But its difficult nonetheless, and I really do hope it will be over soon so that I can get back to being myself again.
I start school next week. I have my orientation this Wednesday. I think that will help to make the time go quicker over the next couple of weeks. Most of what I have read indicates that the illness should go away about week 12 - so I'm counting down to that. That's also when we will get to go more public and tell the rest of our friends and family our wonderful news....so we are very excited to reach that milestone.
We lost a very, very close friend of the family last week tragically, so its been a difficult time on that end as well. It seems that target is still on our backs, somehow. 14 months of death have afflicted our family. More than anything I pray that this is the end of that, and that now LIFE will share its joy with us for a while.
He is absolutely the most patient man I've ever known. He is a saint to put up with me. Seriously.
I have been insufferable in the last few weeks. I'd have tossed me out on my butt 2 weeks ago.
I have been whiny, wimpy, dreary, sucky, impatient, ornery, short tempered, barfy, teary & completely lazy.
And yet he smiles and holds me and strokes my hair and rubs my neck and tells me it'll be OK and he wishes he could take this sick feeling away from me.
And then I turn into a puddle and feel like a big jerk and tell him that I promise to make him all of his favorite suppers when I can stand smells in the house again, and that soon I will feel better & we will be able to be intimate again. Right now, I just can't....and I miss him.
I don't want to blog about how terrible I feel right now - so I haven't been blogging, because that's pretty much how I feel. Please don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade this for the world and if I have to deal with it for the whole pregnancy in order to have a healthy baby, then I will! But its difficult nonetheless, and I really do hope it will be over soon so that I can get back to being myself again.
I start school next week. I have my orientation this Wednesday. I think that will help to make the time go quicker over the next couple of weeks. Most of what I have read indicates that the illness should go away about week 12 - so I'm counting down to that. That's also when we will get to go more public and tell the rest of our friends and family our wonderful news....so we are very excited to reach that milestone.
We lost a very, very close friend of the family last week tragically, so its been a difficult time on that end as well. It seems that target is still on our backs, somehow. 14 months of death have afflicted our family. More than anything I pray that this is the end of that, and that now LIFE will share its joy with us for a while.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Full Disclosure
The cat is out of the bag! The family is 'in the know'! And they are overjoyed!
We got up to the cottage fairly late on Friday evening. We had first gone to watch my 3 year old niece at her karate lesson (TOO CUTE!!!) and hit the road north right after that. The weather was miserable. Incredible winds and pelting rain made for a slow drive.
When we arrived I was feeling less than great from the drive and the nausea. We unpacked the van with my mother and sister who were already there and settled in. Mom said that my brother had called and they decided to stay in town and come up in the morning because the weather was so bad and the kids were sleepy. I put on some cozy clothes, got myself a small dish of almonds to nibble on (mom had a spread of shrimp ring and brie and other goodies out...) and a glass of water. I just started to sit down and my sister pipes up "what's with the water?!" (normally by this time I'd have poured myself a nice glass of red). So, hubby and I stand up and say...."Well....."
And the looks on their faces were priceless! My sister kept saying "no!" "no!" "Seriously?!". I think it took a second for it to sink in for my mom because she just looked stunned. They both barreled into the living room from the kitchen (open concept) to give me a huge hug! Then on to hubby, of course. We explained that it was early, but we knew that should anything happen we would need their support. We explained that we just wanted to keep it in the immediate family for now, and that it was too bad that Bro & SIL were not here to tell as well, but we'd have to wait till tomorrow.
Mom said that my Uncle, Aunt & cousins were all coming up tomorrow morning too and there was no way we could keep it from them as well. SIGH!!! Ah well. We are all very very close so they are like immediate family too.... so we agreed to letting them know too.
The next day the news was equally well received by the rest of the family. It was really wonderful to be able to talk to my mom, aunt & SIL about their experiences in pregnancy and share some of my feelings and fears. I also explained that we'd been trying for 2 years & had struggled. Everyone was very supportive. I'm lucky to have such a loving family.
The morning sickness has been very strange the last few days. I have very intense periods and then periods where its pretty mild and almost not there. Its certainly much better than the constant medium-high nausea I was experiencing last week. Its still very uncomfortable but its much more bearable. I even ate some stuffing and some sweet potatoes, and Sunday morning had a wee bit of my aunt's famous egg dish casserole. It all went down surprisingly well. Overall I've lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks, but I think I'm doing OK. If things stay like this I think I can make it through to 12-14 weeks when everyone says this feeling will disappear. I'm officially 7 weeks - though my naturopath thinks I might be closer to 8. There is no way to tell 100% unless/until I get a dating ultrasound, because of my erratic cycles. We go for my first midwife appointment on Thursday where I expect we will get a whole whack of information!
So, it was a wonderful weekend and I was so happy to be able to make my mom so very, very happy!
We got up to the cottage fairly late on Friday evening. We had first gone to watch my 3 year old niece at her karate lesson (TOO CUTE!!!) and hit the road north right after that. The weather was miserable. Incredible winds and pelting rain made for a slow drive.
When we arrived I was feeling less than great from the drive and the nausea. We unpacked the van with my mother and sister who were already there and settled in. Mom said that my brother had called and they decided to stay in town and come up in the morning because the weather was so bad and the kids were sleepy. I put on some cozy clothes, got myself a small dish of almonds to nibble on (mom had a spread of shrimp ring and brie and other goodies out...) and a glass of water. I just started to sit down and my sister pipes up "what's with the water?!" (normally by this time I'd have poured myself a nice glass of red). So, hubby and I stand up and say...."Well....."
And the looks on their faces were priceless! My sister kept saying "no!" "no!" "Seriously?!". I think it took a second for it to sink in for my mom because she just looked stunned. They both barreled into the living room from the kitchen (open concept) to give me a huge hug! Then on to hubby, of course. We explained that it was early, but we knew that should anything happen we would need their support. We explained that we just wanted to keep it in the immediate family for now, and that it was too bad that Bro & SIL were not here to tell as well, but we'd have to wait till tomorrow.
Mom said that my Uncle, Aunt & cousins were all coming up tomorrow morning too and there was no way we could keep it from them as well. SIGH!!! Ah well. We are all very very close so they are like immediate family too.... so we agreed to letting them know too.
The next day the news was equally well received by the rest of the family. It was really wonderful to be able to talk to my mom, aunt & SIL about their experiences in pregnancy and share some of my feelings and fears. I also explained that we'd been trying for 2 years & had struggled. Everyone was very supportive. I'm lucky to have such a loving family.
The morning sickness has been very strange the last few days. I have very intense periods and then periods where its pretty mild and almost not there. Its certainly much better than the constant medium-high nausea I was experiencing last week. Its still very uncomfortable but its much more bearable. I even ate some stuffing and some sweet potatoes, and Sunday morning had a wee bit of my aunt's famous egg dish casserole. It all went down surprisingly well. Overall I've lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks, but I think I'm doing OK. If things stay like this I think I can make it through to 12-14 weeks when everyone says this feeling will disappear. I'm officially 7 weeks - though my naturopath thinks I might be closer to 8. There is no way to tell 100% unless/until I get a dating ultrasound, because of my erratic cycles. We go for my first midwife appointment on Thursday where I expect we will get a whole whack of information!
So, it was a wonderful weekend and I was so happy to be able to make my mom so very, very happy!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Letting the cat out of the bag
We've decided to tell my family this weekend that we are expecting.
Hubby and I talked about how challenging its going to be to keep it from them this weekend and then we thought "why don't we want them to know"?
If something happens (knock on wood its NOT going to!) then we will want my family (Mom, Sister, Brother & Sister in Law) to be there to support us. We would tell them then, so why not tell them now, so that I don't have to suffer all weekend with smells and avoiding smoke and not eating 'normal' food and trying to appear normal when I feel horrible and trying to force myself to stay awake when I need a nap, etc etc etc...
My mother and sister know about our IF struggles for the past 2 years - we told them both about 7 months ago. My brother & sister in law don't just simply because we didn't want to tell them while they were expecting my nephew. We didn't want them feeling guilty or badly around us. Now that baby Liam is here and all is well, we can let them know we were struggling, but now seem to have somehow aligned the stars to make it happen!
I will feel so much better to be able to be open with them all. I can talk freely and don't have to avoid things.
Hubby feels no need to do the same with his family (I said we could tell them if he wanted). He is not close to them - he is closer with my family. He said that heaven forbid if something happens he wouldn't want them to know & have to deal with them - so we will wait till 14 weeks to tell them. They live about an hour away anyway and we only see them every few weeks, so it shouldn't be hard to 'hide' it from them.
I can't wait for my family's reaction! It will be nice to give my mom some more good news for a change!
Hubby and I talked about how challenging its going to be to keep it from them this weekend and then we thought "why don't we want them to know"?
If something happens (knock on wood its NOT going to!) then we will want my family (Mom, Sister, Brother & Sister in Law) to be there to support us. We would tell them then, so why not tell them now, so that I don't have to suffer all weekend with smells and avoiding smoke and not eating 'normal' food and trying to appear normal when I feel horrible and trying to force myself to stay awake when I need a nap, etc etc etc...
My mother and sister know about our IF struggles for the past 2 years - we told them both about 7 months ago. My brother & sister in law don't just simply because we didn't want to tell them while they were expecting my nephew. We didn't want them feeling guilty or badly around us. Now that baby Liam is here and all is well, we can let them know we were struggling, but now seem to have somehow aligned the stars to make it happen!
I will feel so much better to be able to be open with them all. I can talk freely and don't have to avoid things.
Hubby feels no need to do the same with his family (I said we could tell them if he wanted). He is not close to them - he is closer with my family. He said that heaven forbid if something happens he wouldn't want them to know & have to deal with them - so we will wait till 14 weeks to tell them. They live about an hour away anyway and we only see them every few weeks, so it shouldn't be hard to 'hide' it from them.
I can't wait for my family's reaction! It will be nice to give my mom some more good news for a change!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
6 weeks - Nauseously Elated!
First I would like to thank you all so very, very much for your kind words and support. We are not telling anyone our good news yet, so its nice to be able to share it with all of you!
Second I would like to apologise for not posting for over a week. I've been reading and commenting here & there...but I just haven't had a post in me.
So here I am, ready to post!
I'm feeling a bit better today. The morning sickness has been very difficult - and more like 'all day' sickness. I've struggled to find the right things to eat and the right amounts to minimize the constant queaziness. It seems carbs are the way to go for me. And PLAIN. Absolutely NO butter, salt, cheese, sauces, etc. Actually this morning I had a bagel with a wee bit of cream cheese and that went down ok. Toast and peanut butter is a standby. Other than that - plain, cold noodles. Yum, right?! Well...thats the best I can do, it seems. I've gotten some of those 'boost' meal replacement shakes and am able to sip on those a bit. Water is tough to get down, but I do small sips pretty constantly so at least I'm staying relatively hydrated.
And the vegan thing....DONE. I'm eating what I can, when I can, as there is so much I can't handle right now.
I'm not vomiting, although I feel I could at just about any moment. Especially if I smell anything strong. Coffee smell is particularily bad. Hubby had some jube jubes the other day and the smell of the lemon ones drifting across the room to me was amazingly soothing. Makes me want to buy him a big jar of lemon jube jubes and make him breathe on me.
This has been the main focus of the last week. Its sort of all consuming. I go to see my naturopath tonight and I hope she can help me relieve this a bit. But still......I'll take it! I'll take it for 40 weeks if I have to! (but pleasepleaseplease don't make me have to!!)
Hubby and I are, of course, overjoyed. I think we are still a little stunned. Hubby is tentative...he doesn't want to get too excited until we are further along. I just don't want to even think about that...
We are talking about names, and boy vs. girl, and telling our families, and decorating the nursery....all wonderful conversations we didn't think we would get to have.
The BFP has been confirmed 3x. Twice by HPT and once through a urinalisis at the lab from my MD. And even if we had gotten a negative in any of those I would have protested wildly - the way I feel, I KNOW I am pregnant! I don't need a test to prove it at this point! We have an appointment with a Midwife next week and I'm looking very forward to that.
This coming weekend we are going to my mom's cottage for Thanksgiving with our family. Yes, I know, Canadian Thanksgiving was this past weekend, but we can all only get together the week after because of all the other commitments. So I have to get through the weekend without anyone guessing. Now there are certian things that could be my undoing in this endeavor.
1) I won't be drinking wine. My brother and sister will be all over me for that. So...hubby found a dealcoholized wine that I can sip on a bit through dinner just to get them over it.
2) The smells in the cottage will bother me...and usually I am in the thick of the kitchen prep.
3) I'm tired all the time.
4) My mom, brother and sister all smoke. Now, they just smoke outside, but still, its hard to stay away from, and I will be avoiding it rather suspiciously.
So, if we get through this weekend without questions it will be a miracle!
Something else that has been bugging me, though... According to Fertility Friend it appears that we concieved September 13th. I had a transvaginal ultrasound on the 20th and a Sonohysterogram on the 21st. Wouldn't the transvaginal have identified something? Wouldn't the Sono have 'dislodged' stuff or flushed it through?? The doctor during the sono kept saying 'whats that?' 'that there?' 'can we look at that closer?' to the technician and in the end told me there was a polyp but nothing he was concerned about & my family doctor would discuss that with me. Was that my baby??
I hope none of that could have hurt anything...
I cannot wait for whenever the first scan happens....for whenever I get to hear the heartbeat. I just want to know my baby is growing and is healthy. I just can't wait for that time.
Second I would like to apologise for not posting for over a week. I've been reading and commenting here & there...but I just haven't had a post in me.
So here I am, ready to post!
I'm feeling a bit better today. The morning sickness has been very difficult - and more like 'all day' sickness. I've struggled to find the right things to eat and the right amounts to minimize the constant queaziness. It seems carbs are the way to go for me. And PLAIN. Absolutely NO butter, salt, cheese, sauces, etc. Actually this morning I had a bagel with a wee bit of cream cheese and that went down ok. Toast and peanut butter is a standby. Other than that - plain, cold noodles. Yum, right?! Well...thats the best I can do, it seems. I've gotten some of those 'boost' meal replacement shakes and am able to sip on those a bit. Water is tough to get down, but I do small sips pretty constantly so at least I'm staying relatively hydrated.
And the vegan thing....DONE. I'm eating what I can, when I can, as there is so much I can't handle right now.
I'm not vomiting, although I feel I could at just about any moment. Especially if I smell anything strong. Coffee smell is particularily bad. Hubby had some jube jubes the other day and the smell of the lemon ones drifting across the room to me was amazingly soothing. Makes me want to buy him a big jar of lemon jube jubes and make him breathe on me.
This has been the main focus of the last week. Its sort of all consuming. I go to see my naturopath tonight and I hope she can help me relieve this a bit. But still......I'll take it! I'll take it for 40 weeks if I have to! (but pleasepleaseplease don't make me have to!!)
Hubby and I are, of course, overjoyed. I think we are still a little stunned. Hubby is tentative...he doesn't want to get too excited until we are further along. I just don't want to even think about that...
We are talking about names, and boy vs. girl, and telling our families, and decorating the nursery....all wonderful conversations we didn't think we would get to have.
The BFP has been confirmed 3x. Twice by HPT and once through a urinalisis at the lab from my MD. And even if we had gotten a negative in any of those I would have protested wildly - the way I feel, I KNOW I am pregnant! I don't need a test to prove it at this point! We have an appointment with a Midwife next week and I'm looking very forward to that.
This coming weekend we are going to my mom's cottage for Thanksgiving with our family. Yes, I know, Canadian Thanksgiving was this past weekend, but we can all only get together the week after because of all the other commitments. So I have to get through the weekend without anyone guessing. Now there are certian things that could be my undoing in this endeavor.
1) I won't be drinking wine. My brother and sister will be all over me for that. So...hubby found a dealcoholized wine that I can sip on a bit through dinner just to get them over it.
2) The smells in the cottage will bother me...and usually I am in the thick of the kitchen prep.
3) I'm tired all the time.
4) My mom, brother and sister all smoke. Now, they just smoke outside, but still, its hard to stay away from, and I will be avoiding it rather suspiciously.
So, if we get through this weekend without questions it will be a miracle!
Something else that has been bugging me, though... According to Fertility Friend it appears that we concieved September 13th. I had a transvaginal ultrasound on the 20th and a Sonohysterogram on the 21st. Wouldn't the transvaginal have identified something? Wouldn't the Sono have 'dislodged' stuff or flushed it through?? The doctor during the sono kept saying 'whats that?' 'that there?' 'can we look at that closer?' to the technician and in the end told me there was a polyp but nothing he was concerned about & my family doctor would discuss that with me. Was that my baby??
I hope none of that could have hurt anything...
I cannot wait for whenever the first scan happens....for whenever I get to hear the heartbeat. I just want to know my baby is growing and is healthy. I just can't wait for that time.
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