Apparently I 'm impossible to please.
The last few days I have been feeling a little better. Tuesday was actually really good. Yesterday & today are about the same. I've still had nausea, but not as intense and there are actually times in the day it doesn't really bother me too much. Also I'm able to eat a few more foods.
So, of course, I'm a bit worried.
According to Dr. Google (BAD ME!!!), MS should begin to subside right around week 12 when the Placenta - my baby's lifeline! - is fully formed. I'm 9.5 weeks. That's 2.5 weeks that the placenta has not had to develop! This does not make me happy.
I know - I'm bitching when I'm sick and now I'm bitching that I'm not as sick. This is just such a time of uncertainty and worry. I'm happy and start thinking about plans, and then I freak out and think "I shouldn't get too excited and I shouldn't make plans yet!". I'm sorry for being such a nutcase...but I really don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
Since I never got to the point with an RE where I was under real care or guidance from them (I was written off at first glance, essentially, and decided to go hippy-dippy natural for a while before pursuing further intervention - and I got very, very lucky), I'm not getting constant check ups and tests. I feel kind of like I'm floating out here. I don't even know when I will get my first scan. And that scan scares me too, because last time I got one at 12.5 weeks and that's when they told me the pregnancy was not viable and I would likely miscarry in a few days and that if I didn't I would have to get a D&C. I did miscarry a few days later. It was horrible.
Every time I feel a little (WARNING - this may be a bit graphic!) dampness I go rushing off to the bathroom terrified that I'm going to find pink. Thank goodness that hasn't been the case.
I know I have not eaten well and I'm not drinking enough water - I just can't. I can't stomach it or keep it down. So I worry I am not providing sufficient nutrition to my baby. My naturopath assures me that all the work I have done over the last year and a half eating super nutritiously and organic and building up my body's health reserves is more than enough for my little olive sized nugget right now. That if all I can eat are crackers and Popsicles then that's what I need to eat and that's OK. I'm getting my prenatal vitamin in daily so she says I'm good.
So, I'm just trying to be patient and calm as much as I can be right now. I'm walking a few nights a week, but mostly getting lots of sleep. When school starts next week sleep will likely diminish with studying time and work having to be fit in - so I'm trying to get lots of rest now. And as long as I'm sleeping, I'm not worrying, and I'm not throwing up - so that's all good as far as I am concerned!
I know its that trust the universe that everything is ok with baby...I was the same when I stopped feeling sick or had moments...Im like is everything ok but of course it is...everyones body is different
ReplyDeleteWhen you get to stage of feeling baby move...when you havent felt it move for a while again you think is everything ok and then you get reassurance...
not long until 12 weeks now baby..I know its hard I had same challenge at my 13 week scan as last time thats when I saw my missed miscarriage but remember this time is different
all sounds totally normal worry stuff to me! I don't think it ever ends until the baby is in our arms safely. ease up MS!! give her a break :)
ReplyDeleteThis is all part of the normal process of pregnancy. I never had m/s until later in my pregnancies so I did worry that things were TOO normal and I didnt feel pregnant. From 16 weeks I had constant nausea with all 3 boys. Things are different for everyone.
ReplyDeleteYour an expectant mummy! You are going to be concerned every step of the way. I agree with Emby, movement is a very reassuring thing but you have the reassurance of the scan first and I think you are handling pregnancy just fine.
Also, don't be hard on yourself for what you eat/fail to eat. The female body is a miraculous thing that knows what it needs for the baby. I lost weight the first 3 months as I ate less but I soon discovered alot of my nausea was worse when I was hungry so little and often of what you can handle WILL help rather than meals. Have faith in nature and your body!
I'm 11 weeks tomorrow and my MS eased up around 9.5 weeks too for a few days - then it came back even worse that before. Now I have good days where I don't feel sick at all, and days when I feel sick as soon as i get out of bed.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard not to worry - especially when you have been to this point before. All you can do is look after yourself, get plenty of rest and maybe see if you can book in for another scan if your really concerned.
Thanks to all of you for your encouraging words. I know I will just be SO happy to be on the other side of my scan and into trimester 2~!!!
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