I think I'm driving my poor husband crazy.
He is absolutely the most patient man I've ever known. He is a saint to put up with me. Seriously.
I have been insufferable in the last few weeks. I'd have tossed me out on my butt 2 weeks ago.
I have been whiny, wimpy, dreary, sucky, impatient, ornery, short tempered, barfy, teary & completely lazy.
And yet he smiles and holds me and strokes my hair and rubs my neck and tells me it'll be OK and he wishes he could take this sick feeling away from me.
And then I turn into a puddle and feel like a big jerk and tell him that I promise to make him all of his favorite suppers when I can stand smells in the house again, and that soon I will feel better & we will be able to be intimate again. Right now, I just can't....and I miss him.
I don't want to blog about how terrible I feel right now - so I haven't been blogging, because that's pretty much how I feel. Please don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade this for the world and if I have to deal with it for the whole pregnancy in order to have a healthy baby, then I will! But its difficult nonetheless, and I really do hope it will be over soon so that I can get back to being myself again.
I start school next week. I have my orientation this Wednesday. I think that will help to make the time go quicker over the next couple of weeks. Most of what I have read indicates that the illness should go away about week 12 - so I'm counting down to that. That's also when we will get to go more public and tell the rest of our friends and family our wonderful news....so we are very excited to reach that milestone.
We lost a very, very close friend of the family last week tragically, so its been a difficult time on that end as well. It seems that target is still on our backs, somehow. 14 months of death have afflicted our family. More than anything I pray that this is the end of that, and that now LIFE will share its joy with us for a while.
It does get easier my lovely! Well a little, and I won't lie, pregnancy is THE BIGGEST rollercoaster you will ever go on in your life. Emotionally to say the least. With my boys I've always been the same but more angry and frustrated (testosterone symptoms???) so I know the feeling completely. Maybe you have a little boy on the way too. :)
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad if you do take it out on your husband a bit too - This is HALF his fault after all. ;) Pregnancy hormones are a law unto themself and he'll get used to it.
I did smile to myself at the whiny through to lazy list as I've felt the same for the last week or so but for the opposite reason. Birth control doesn't like me.
Don't feel bad about writing about the downsides of pregnancy - you're being realistic to others. You aren't just papering over the cracks and for many many years you will be finding new things to worry about so don't let this bother you.
Good luck with school. I am sure you will do wonderfully.
Telling family and friends is one of the best things of pregnancy. They get to cheer you on too. :)
Sorry to hear abut the loss of your friend. It's never anything you can prepare for and I send my deepest condolensces to all. x
This first trimester is hard hey! Everything says it should bet better by the second and I'm hoping so too. I feel like one lazy bitch at the moment!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your friend, you have had more than your fair share of heartache and loss lately.