So,....it finally happened. I finally got that message going around on Facebook about the little 'in' game for the ladies for Breast Cancer Awareness.
You know....last year we all put on our statuses that we "like it on the kitchen floor" or something like that - referring secretly to where we like to put our purses in our homes. It was supposed to baffle the men and was a fun little thing that was supposed to be about supporting breast cancer awareness.
Well, this year, the cute little game isn't so cute anymore....at least not for some of us. This year, we are to choose our birth month and then indicate a craving for a food item from a pre-made list that is being sent around via Facebook message. So, if my birthday was August 17, my status would be "I'm 8 weeks and craving fudge".
I already knew about this from fellow IF bloggers. I knew it was just a matter of time before it landed in my inbox.
But when it did, this morning, I got mad. Really MAD.
I responded via 'reply all' to my cousin the unwitting sender and a bunch of her friends and some of my family. This is what I said:
Sorry Ladies - I totally support Breast Cancer awareness and am participating in the run for the cure in 2 weeks. I've thought that previous years the little inside status updates were quite cute - and I would not hesitate to participate again.....but I have to decline participation in this particular one, I'm afraid.
I'd suggest that seeing their facebook feeds inundated with statuses like this would be heartbreaking for any woman (or man) suffering from infertility or experiencing challenges having a child.
I hope that next year I can participate again. Have fun with this & sorry.
My family, with the exception of my mother and my sister, do not know about my IF struggle.
Now I feel like they are all going to be wondering.
And I feel like such a bitch.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't feel a bitch or any form of guilt because of some stupid chain message.
ReplyDeleteThis has been around a while and I remember the first time I saw it I found it very insensitive as I have been reading a few infertility blogs for a while plus there's a number of people I know who have had miscarriages in the past 12 months so I really feel for people like you and them.
It probably did start all innocent but there's other perspectives all around.
I never participate in these chain "games" as I don't see how such posts can claim to help Breast Cancer or any other sort of illness that the message claims to help.
I may be mistaken but I thought it took years of study, research and fundraising not a list of bra colours to create a way forward in raising awareness/finding cures for said illnesses. So that's my initial reason for refusing to join in.
Don't let this upset you so much.
Finally, before I go, I will certainly keep you in my thoughts with that baby dust you mentioned. A newly pregnant friend had been diagnosed with unexplained IF and is having a baby after 3 yrs of trying, my best friend had a baby this year after 4 years of TTC and my sister in law is due to have her first baby next month after TTC for close to 5 years. Miracles do happen and I wish you all the very very best.
xxx
(ps, if it comes up as 2 messages it's because I messed up the first and edited it to this one to make more sense. Sorry.)
Good work. I had an old coworker post it on FB and I reacted with anger too. I did my own status update frowning upon the game and questioning how it raises awareness for breast cancer. The stupid thing is that the person who posted it never posted on her status that it was a) a joke and b) to raise awarness for breast cancer, so i'm sure all her FB friends are really none the wiser! So frusterating!!!
ReplyDeleteSO so very frustrating but glad you responeded without breaking confidentiality...its like hearing whinging pregnant woman....its not something that comes so easy for some of us and the fortunate thing about infertility it makes us aware that we treat every moment of pregnany as precious or anything to do with being pregnant precious but I guess its not everyones lesson in life to learn this....
ReplyDeleteI actually think that was well put and not remotely passive aggressive! Good on ya.
ReplyDelete