Friends of our family, who I have known since I was probably about 8 years old, are expecting.
The announcement came over facebook which seems to be the norm these days.
They are wonderful people & will make great parents to this, their second child.
I let my mother know, who has recently been brought into the loop on our IF struggles. I could see her look at me, anticipating that I might be upset by it. Now, my brother's wife is currently pregnant - a month away from delivering my nephew, their second child. I am thrilled for them and of course I get to be a doting aunt!
So why the 'tentative' response from my mother when it came to our friend...? I think its this:
Our friend is gay.
This got me thinking...should my response as a woman struggling to become a mother be one of anger and resentment when I hear of a gay couple becoming pregnant via IVF or through adoption or surrogacy? Should I be wailing "why do they get to be parents and not me?! They can't even do it naturally!". Well....so far, neither can I, so...
But at least I'm MEANT to be able to do it naturally, right?
Maybe. Maybe not. The Jury is still out on that one.
I understand my mother's trepidation about how I might react considering what we are going through. Mom is happy for them, but sad for me....and maybe this will be her reaction to every pregnancy announcement that comes before my hopeful one.
I've thrown this around in my brain and my heart a lot over the last couple of days....and I'm NOT resentful. Not any more so than I am about any other pregnancy announcement I hear these days (and I don't think I'd even call that emotion 'resentment'.....its more of a bitter-sweet feeling...happy a baby is coming, sad its not mine).
We all have love to give - why would their love be considered any less worthy than anyone else's?
They've got a lucky baby on the way!
One day, I too will be able to give my love as a parent to my child. And when that day comes they will be so happy for me!
Hugs
~SCS
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